GOODbye 2010, Hello 2011

I know this is late, but I still wanted to post it. :)

In 2010....

We lost my dear Great-Grandmother.

We had six failed IUI's.

I had another failed surgery.

My family lost our "rock", my papa.

My best friend, "T" lost her father.

My family started to fall apart.

And... We had a heartbreaking failed IVF.


As you can see, 2010 was not a good year. My strength, faith, and marriage have been tested. I have high hopes for 2011, very HIGH hopes.


In 2011....

I hope to become pregnant.

I hope for a healthy baby.

I hope to return to church.

I hope my family will end their feud. That's what my Papa would have wanted.

I hope to buy a house.

I hope to become closer to my husband’s family.

I just pray 2011 is full of peace, love, happiness, and a baby.

A Song That Says It ALL

While I was in the process of reading a blog I follow this song came on. My first instinct was to press mute, but the first line made me stop and listen. After listening for about 45 seconds, I was in tears. This song sums up my reality, the life I've lived for the past three years. I can't believe I've finally come across a song that can explain what I'm feeling. This song is just so emotional and powerful. Maybe now people will get a better feeling of my pain and emptiness by listening to these lyrics.

This verse really hits home with me...

I've been given so much,
A husband that I love.
So why do I feel incomplete?
With every test and checkup
We're told not to give up.
He wonders if it's him.
And I wonder if it's me.

This verse too...

All I want is a family,
Like everyone else I see.
And I won't understand it
If it's not meant to be.

And this one...

And I want to know what it's like
To bring a dream to life.
How I would love
What some give up.
I would die ...
I would die for that.

I can't even write the thoughts or emotions that I feel when I heard this song. This song just said everything that I've said in just a short three minutes. It's just so powerful and the video even goes into better detail. It just explains the heart ache.

Here is the lyrics for the whole song.

Wordless Wednesday

Not much to report today. Injections are going smoothly and I'm surprisingly feeling well :). I will update when I have news. Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas.

Here We Go Again

Last Wednesday (12-15), we had our follow up with Dr. Miracle. He believes IVF 1.0 was unsuccessful because of low fertilization and embryo development. On day three transfer, our embryos should have been 8-cells and they were only 6-celled. This time were shooting for less eggs, better quality.

We changed up some of my medication. I'm on a new medication this time called Lupron. It's used to stimulate my ovaries, but also helps to prevent OHSS (ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome). I was diagnosed with this during IVF 1.0. It was not fun, but I took it like a champ because I was that much closer to getting my baby. As of right now, all the other medication is still the same.

My first shot will be on Christmas day. I can honestly say I'm looking forward to it. I just pray this time we get our miracle.

Here is a picture of all my medication. I labeled everything so you could know what it is.

Emotional Day

I'm Having a Emotional Day!

Tough Week

Infertility is one of the hardest things to deal with. The hurt you feel when you find out your broken and not able to give your spouse children is extremely overbearing. As an infertile woman the main thing I need is support. I need people to lift my spirits when I'm down and empathize with me when I receive bad news.

I just wish people could understand how hard this is for my husband and I. No one knows what we are going through unless they have actually been in our shoes. I don’t think anyone understands the pain of having to tell your husband several times that you’re not pregnant. Then to see the sadness in his eyes, it just breaks my heart into a million pieces. I cannot help but to feel like I've let him down.

When you’re diagnosed with infertility you grieve. Some people don’t understand this but you grieve the fact that you may never have children. My whole life I envisioned being a mommy. When I met Tyler I just knew he would be the perfect husband and father. We would always talk about having children. Any future plans we made we would always think of the possibility of having little ones around and what would be the best for them. When I found out that getting pregnant would not be easy for us and there was a possibility I would never experience pregnancy… I grieved as if I lost someone or something. Even though it wasn’t an actual person I lost, I still grieved.

My husband has been extremely supportive and so strong through this whole process but I know it’s hurting him just as much as it does me. He just amazes me and is the reason I keep going. I asked my husband if I could use his phone a couple days ago and I saw a text conversation between him and my mother in law. They were asking each other what they wanted for Christmas. Tyler told her what he really wanted for Christmas was a young’n. It breaks my heart to know that there is a possibility we may never have a child combined of our DNA.

I have been having an extremely hard time this past week. I really thought IVF would work for us... knowing it didn’t just about kills me.

What Not To Say

Please don't be offended by this post. It isn't based on anyone in particular. These are just some things people tell me and I needed to get the frustration off my chest.

:Stepping On My Soap Box:

Sometimes I'm floored on some of the comments people say to me. Whether they mean it in a sincere way or their being insensitive, some things just shouldn't be said. In example, here are some things that you shouldn't say to an infertile woman.

1) Stop telling me I'm too stressed and that is why I can't get pregnant. That is not the case at all. Yes, I do get stressed at times but I know how to control my emotions and stress has not created my infertility.

2) Stop telling me we are "trying too hard". This one cracks me up. There is no such thing as trying to hard. It's simple science.... all it takes is one egg and one sperm.

3) Stop telling me to take a break. A break is not going to help. I have a infertility problem and the only way I can get pregnant is through the assistance of ART, assisted reproductive technology. A break is useless.

4) Stop telling me I'm too young and I have plenty of time to become a mother. When people tell me this I want to knock them out. There is no age limit of when you should become a mother. It's now or never for me.

5) Stop telling me I shouldn't try so hard for children when there are so many children in the world I could adopt. It's not unnatural to want my own children. Would you tell a fertile woman she was selfish for having her own children? No, I don't think so. Also to clear things up I'm not against adoption. My youngest sister is adopted and it influenced Ty and I to adopt as well. Before we were even diagnosed with infertility adoption was always something we planned on doing. But just because I'm infertile does not mean it's my responsibility to adopt all the children in the world. Before you criticize me, get your facts right!

:Stepping Off My Soapbox:

The Results Are In

November 29th

I woke up feeling great and headed to Dr. Miracles office. When I arrived Nurse Awesome asked how the spotting was and I told her it had stopped. I was then asked to give another urine sample and then she took my blood for the beta test. I asked when I would know the results and she told me around 2 pm.

I went into work a half hour early because sitting around the house was driving me nuts. Every time the phone rang my heart dropped. 2 o'clock came and went and I still hadn't heard from Dr. Miracles office. DH was calling me about every 15 minutes to see if I received any news yet.

Finally around 3 o'clock the phone rang and it was Dr. Miracle. I swear my heart stopped beating when I heard his voice. He told me they received the results and he was sorry to announce they were negative. In between my sobs I managed to ask what our next step was. He said that I was young and he is confident this will work for us. He told me to stop all medications and to call the office the first day of my period and that the next IVF will be around the first week of January.

I hung up the phone and tried to pull myself together. I knew I had to call Ty and tell him the news. I was hoping to tell him in person but knew he would be calling again soon and there was no way to hide it from him. I sat there thinking how do I call my husband and tell him that my body has failed us again... HOW? I finally got the courage to pick up the phone and dial his number. I let it ring a couple times and then hung up because I began to cry. I didn't even know what I was going to say to him. I gave it another shot and this time he picked up before I could hang up. I could do nothing but sob I'm sorry into the phone repetitively. He kept telling me it was okay and not my fault. I felt differently, I felt and feel like it's all my fault. It's my body that can't give us a child. My body is the reason why we don't wake up to a baby crying in the middle of the night. My body is to blame why we have all those cute baby clothes in a hope chest instead of a closet.

I'm am extremely upset. I have cried so much in these past two days. This was the straw that broke the camels back. I have lost all my strength. There is nothing that can hurt a wife more than knowing she can't give her husband a child. I'm starting to think we will never have children and the thought of that saddens me deeply.

I apologize for this being so choppy. It took my everything to even type this. I am extremely emotional and upset. Please bare with me.

IVF Part Three

November 19th

The days prior to the 19th I was having extreme cramping. I assumed it was caused by the embryo transfer. After waking up on Friday, the 19th and still experiencing intense cramping I figured it was time to give Dr. Miracle a call. He requested that I come in to his office to be seen right away. I agreed and DH and I were on our way.

When we arrived we were taken back quicker than usual. I was asked to give a urine sample, still not sure why. Then I went to the exam room and met up with my DH. Dr. Miracle came in and examined my lower abdomen. He said that my ovaries were over stimulated and that was causing a lot of the cramping and discomfort. I was told not to wear jeans anymore and to go buy some maternity pants. Funny thing is... I could not bring myself to buy maternity pants, I thought it was bad luck. I settled for the be band from tar.get instead. In my opinion it worked just as well. It went around my belly so I could keep my pants unzipped and unbuttoned.

We returned home and I was a couch potato the rest of the day :)

Thanksgiving Day

I had some spotting in the morning and it stopped by afternoon. I was worried but decided not to call Dr. Miracle and stay off my feet all day.

The rest of the day was spent with family and I had a great time. I am so thankful for my big, loud, crazy Italian family. The whole day was filled with laughter.

November 27th 2010

When I arrived at work, I went to the bathroom. I discovered I was spotting again so I decided it was best to call Dr. Miracle. This was a Saturday so of course I had to deal with the lovely answering service. Let's just say the lady on the other end of the phone was not nice. In my opinion she had an attitude and should probably look for another job. Answering phones and being rude to hormonal worried infertile women probably is not a good idea.

Approximately five minutes later Dr. Miracle called me back. He said that spotting was not a good sign but there is still a chance the cycle was successful. He told me to continue all the medication and he would see me on Monday and to prepare for disappointing news.

I got off the phone balling. I was so worried, scared and upset. My boss (I'll call her LJ) was standing next to me during the conversation and could tell I didn't receive good news. She started crying and empathizing with me. I'm very grateful to have such an awesome boss. She is supportive of my treatments and does her best to work around my appointments. Thank you LJ!

I left work early because I needed to go home and rest. I needed to regain my faith and strength. I needed to think positive and let everything sink in and I needed to tell DH what was going on. He was very optimistic like always and told me everything would be okay. Do you see why I love this man so much? I can't say it enough... he is beyond amazing!!

Continued in part 4 :)

IVF Part Two

November 14th

The morning after egg retrieval we woke up before the roosters to do my PIO (progesterone in oil) injection. This is the needle that is HUGE, no exaggeration. It's about an 1 1/2" long. Dr. Miracle marked two bull eyes on my back side and that is where DH administered the injection. Let's just say he wasn't gentle. He is better now but the first week was a little tough.

Around 10 am I received a call from Nurse Awesome. She was calling to give us our fertilization report. They retrieved 20 eggs, only 15 were mature. Out of those 15, only 5 fertilized. She said they were hoping for more to fertilized. I asked her if we would even have any embryos to freeze for future use and she said it's too soon to tell. I was very disappointed but still grateful that we had something to work with.

Embryo Transfer

We arrived at Dr. Miracles office around 10am. I was filled with so many different emotions. Excited, happy, nervous, hopeful, scared, etc. DH and I were sitting patiently in the waiting room when Dr. Miracle came to talk to us. He told us that with my young age he felt comfortable putting two embryos back. This through me for a loop because at the egg retrieval he told me three. I asked him how many embryos we had left and he said only two survived. Oh I get it now... that is why he is saying two.

I was the brought to the back and prepped for embryo transfer. I was about to pee my pants because I couldn't pee for two hours prior to transfer. The reason why I couldn't pee is because they do an ultrasound to watch the embryos go into the uterus. I was lying in bed with six different people looking at my vagina. I felt totally violated but hey anything for a baby right :) They began the transfer and about 5 minutes later it was all done.

I had to lie in bed for 20 minutes before I was aloud up. Dr. Miracle came in before he headed to the hospital for scheduled surgeries. He said our chances were 50%. I guess that is better than nothing. I began to get dressed and was on strict orders to head home and stay in bed for two days. I was aloud to get up and go to the bathroom only but let's just say my back is still sore. I don't care what anyone says, when you have to lay on your back for two whole days. IT HURTS! DH did a great job catering to me. I think I annoyed him but I just have to say he is awesome. I'm so thankful to have such a loving, caring, and supportive husband.

continued in part 3 :)

IVF Part One

First of all I would like to apologize for not keeping my promise of blogging everyday. I have been trying to relax and every time I sat in front of the computer I always ventured off to google. Let's just say for a woman in her 2ww (two week wait) you can find some information on there that kills your hope for a successful cycle. So I decided to retire the computer for two weeks. Please don't be too mad at me :) Second, I have decided to break the IVF blogs into different parts. I’m not sure how many parts there will be so stay tuned :)

Injections

On November 4th I start taking the follicle stimulating injections. I took 1cc of Menopur and 150 IU of Follistim. I gave myself the injections in the abdomen everyday between 6-8 p.m. To my surprise they weren't that bad, by the end of the week I was a pro. I was monitored every couple days by my RE. By monitored I mean I had a date with Wandy (vaginal ultrasound) and a blood draw to check my estrogen levels. My appointments went great and my ovaries were responding well. I was producing several follicles and Dr. Miracle was very happy. On November 10th my Follistim was lowered to 75 IU due to my estrogen level being high and my ovaries were becoming over stimulated ( NOT FUN!). After my appointment on November 11th, I was told to trigger (ovidrel injection) that night and be back Saturday morning for egg retrieval.

Egg Retrieval

On November 13th my DH and I arrived at Dr. Miracles at 9:00 am. I was brought back and prepped for "surgery". The room looked a lot like a operating room. DH wasn't aloud back because it was a sterile environment (I know, I wasn't happy about this). The anesthesiologist (I'll call him Dr. Facetious) attempted to start my I.V in my forearm. After telling him 500 times he wouldn't get it there, 5 failed attempts and my arm looking like swiss cheese...he finally moved it to my front elbow area. Then Dr. Facetious begins to ask me the usual, "How many surgeries have you had? Do you have any reactions to anesthesia?" Then he asks me this question, "What is your date of birth?" I replied, "05/21/198_." He double looked at the chart and then at me and said, "What are you doing here." I replied with a simple IVF. Then this ass proceeds to say, "Don't you want to wait 10 years and then come back? You know, become successful and everything. Your so young to settle down with a child. Are you even married?" As I sat in that bed I could feel my blood boiling. I wanted nothing but to get up and knock his old ass out or give him a few choice words. Instead I responded with a nice "NO, I'm not coming back. I've wanted and waited a long time for this." I was then put to sleep.

When I woke up I was brought to the recovery room where I met with my husband. I was still pissed off at Dr. Facetious and my DH wasn't too happy about his statements either. Dr. Miracle and Nurse Awesome came in and told me how the procedure went. They retrieved 20 eggs!!! Dr. Miracle was very happy with this number. He explained to me how they couldn't retrieve all the eggs from my left ovary because it was being stubborn and wouldn't come out from behind my uterus. I was also happy with this number and had high hopes when I left his office.

DH and I left his office and went to grab something to eat because I was starving. I wasn't aloud to eat anything passed midnight the "previous day". I was feeling nauseous but Dr. Facetious wrote it off to an empty stomach. After eating a lite lunch we headed home. About 30 minutes after we were home I vomited all over the place. I was so mad. I told Dr. Facetious that I ALWAYS have a reaction to anesthesia, it makes me nauseous. Apparently he didn't listen to that. Needless to say I don't care for Dr. Facetious at ALL. After a couple hours I felt better and took a nap. When I woke up from my nap I was extremely crampy. I called Dr. Miracle and he said it was normal and to take some Ty.lenol. I did and managed to fall asleep for the rest of the night.

To be continued in part 2 :)

Pre IVF - Day One

Yesterday our appointment went amazing. We learned how to do all the injections and I think my husband is going to be a champ at them :) As of right now our first injection will be on November 4th. :) I'm so excited!

After we finished filling out the kazillion consent forms my hubby asked our nurse (I'll refer to her as Nurse Awesome) a funny question. He asked, " Is there any way our embryos can get mixed up and we end up with a Chinese baby?" She replied, " Good news is... we don't have any Chinese couples doing IVF this cycle." Then she went on the assure my hubby that there was no way possible to get them mixed up. I could not stop laughing. The things that come out of his mouth are just too funny.

After our appointment we had dinner plans to celebrate my best friend T's birthday. On our way there we talked about what the next month could possibly bring us. We talked about pregnancy, nurseries, breast feeding, cloth diapers vs. disposal ones. Anything "baby" you can bet we discussed it.

We arrived to dinner and met up with our friends. I didn't mention before that T is almost 9 months pregnant with her first little girl. I'm so excited for her and I can't wait for my little niece to be here! I can't stop touching her belly, I think she gets annoyed with me sometimes but I think it's just so amazing what the human body does. I love to poke her stomach and get the baby (I'll refer to her as sweet pea) to move. I probably ask her a billion questions about pregnancy but she's okay with answering them. I enjoy the fact that when I do get pregnant I have someone to go to with all my questions.

Today I started my antibiotic. It's just to prevent me from getting sick. If I get sick during my IVF cycle my RE ( I like to call him Dr. Miracle) will most likely cancel the cycle and we can't have that. I will be on the antibiotic for 10 days. My hubby was suppose to take them too but apparently if you have excessive exposure to the sun, you can't take them. Nurse Awesome isn't to worried about it because his sperm count is amazing. They like to call him super sperm, lol.

I also started my folic acid. I already take a prenatal vitamin but they wanted me to take some extra folic acid, so I started that as well.

I can't believe IVF is right around the corner. It's so exciting to know that in less than a month I could be possibly pregnant :)

Anxiety

Today is our appointment to go over the last final details and medical plan for IVF this coming month!!!!

My husband and I will learn how to administer the injections. To be honest I'm terrified of the injections! My husband on the other hand is all grins and giggles. I think he is just looking forward to torturing me :). But seriously the needle for progesterone is HUGE. I'm told that it doesn't hurt but my word... that whole thing has to go into my muscle?!? My game plan is to take the injections like a champ and remind myself with every injection I'm that much closer to our dream.

Well the month of November holds so much for us. I'm sure there will be tears, sleepless nights, and everything that comes along with the emotions of TTC.

Keep us in your prayers :) We pray God blesses us with our miracle.

The Upcoming Months

Today is day six of taking Clomid and I'm proud to announce that I feel amazing. This is the last cycle I'll be taking Clomid and I've experienced no side effects. I can only hope this cycle is going to be a breeze.

My next appointment with Wandy is on Monday. I hope to get good news that my ovaries are doing their job and producing lots of follies. Our IUI should take place sometime next week. Wouldn't that be something if this one worked! Last times a charm (I hope).

We will be taking the month of October off because of our much needed vacation. We will be flying into St. Louis, MO. My DH is from Missouri and we are excited to spend a whole week with friends and family. Oh yeah and DH is standing up in his good friend B's wedding. Oh how I'm looking forward to a week away and off of work. Where my DH is from is out in the sticks. There is nothing but land, cattle, a church, and a bar but it's a good ole time. When we return I will begin my injections two weeks later (ouch!).

I'm looking forward to the month of November. Our egg retrieval will be on the 14th, 15th or16th. Then our transfer will be on the 17th, 18th or 19th. My RE wants me to take off work from the 14th to the 30th and 10 of those days will be bed rest. Let me just say right now... that's not going to happen. I'm work in retail management so my big boss will not be happy if I take those days off. The reason why my RE wants me on bed rest for 10 days is because of the work I'm in. I'm going to talk with him on Monday and see if we can do just five days of bed rest, that way I'll be up and running by Black Friday. My boss is very supportive with my IVF and is willing to work around appointments and bed rest, it's my big boss I'm worried about.

One of the biggest decisions we have to make regarding IVF is how many embabies to put back in my uterus. Two or three? My RE suggests three but let's keep in mind they can split and reduction is out of the question. I've prayed long and hard for a baby and if God blesses me with babies I'm not going to give some back because it was too many. My DH and I are leaning towards two but I know I will be so heart broken if it's unsuccessful and will regret not doing three. I'm just so unsure on what to do and what's right.

I'm filled with all kinds of emotions regarding IVF. I'm anxious, nervous, scared and happy but most of all hopeful. We want so bad to have a baby! We want to be able to fill the extra bedroom with baby furniture. I want to be able to take all the baby clothes out of our hope chest and use them. I envision my DH teaching our son to throw a spiral in the front yard and watching our daughter's dance recitals. I pray every night God will bless us with our "miracle baby". I have so much hope for the future and will continue to have hope until our dreams come true.

Lucky Number 6?

I've decided since I've never actually blogged while I was in the process of a cycle... this month I have every intention of blogging A LOT! I've learned that getting my emotions "out" helps tremendously with my stress level during a cycle.

Well unfortunately here I am again starting another cycle.

I started my Clomid yesterday and will be taking it the rest of the week. Clomid usually makes me sick and emotional. So far, so good this cycle. Don't take me wrong.... I'm not complaining. Clomid can make me as sick as "it" wants, as long as my ovaries produce follies, I'm a happy camper.

This is the last cycle of IUI we'll be doing. If it is another failure, we are planning to do IVF in November. My DH thinks this one is it. God bless him for always being positive, optimistic, supportive, and just awesome. I can't wait for the day that I can tell him we're pregnant. Well... let's hope this month has a happy ending.

Emotions

As I am coming close to the end of my 2ww, I'm feeling all sorts of mixed emotions. I'm mixed between happy, sad, hopeful, excited and many more. I have a good feeling about this last cycle of IUI. That "good feeling" leaves me happy, hopeful, and excited. I have also experienced this "good feeling" in the past and as we all know I wasn't pregnant. Then it left me sad, angry, frustrated, and hopeless. I'm to the point where I'm giving up with IUI. As much as I want it to work, I just know it isn't going to. We still have to do one more cycle of IUI before we can move on to IVF. If this cycle and the next is a failure, IVF is scheduled for November. We will be taking the month of October off because of our vacation to my husband's home town of Missouri. I'm really hoping to be pregnant by Christmas.

A Lot to Swallow

Where do I start? A lot has happened since my last blog, my life has changed so much. I have been meaning to write but never could actually do it. I had at least a dozen ways to start off this blog in my head but I couldn't actually sit down to type it. Why? Because it hurt too damn bad. On August 3rd my family lost the strongest, lovable, big hearted man. My grandfather ( I refer to him as Papa). It seriously felt like my life/heart was thrown into pieces and I didn't even know where to start picking up the pieces to put them back together. My Papa was such a big part of my life. I was the first born grandchild, so we had a special relationship. My family and I thought he won his battle with cancer. We were all taken by surprise when a trip to the hospital for pneumonia turned into the beginning of the end with him. I cried for days. I couldn't believe I was loosing one of the strongest man in my life. I enjoyed and cherished every moment with him because I knew they were numbered. I was fortunate enough to have a very understanding boss that worked with me and my schedule. Thanks to her I got to spend some extra quality time with him in his last few weeks. He told me how much he loved me and how he was glad I inherited his stubbornness. My Papa was a man that was as strong as a bull but as stubborn as a mule. I too told him how much I loved him and promised that my future children would know who he was and I would keep him memory alive. He was always supportive of me wanting to start a family and extremely supportive of our fertility treatments. My Papa looked forward to seeing his great grandchildren. Every time I saw him he would always ask if he was a great grandfather yet. When our Pastor came to pray with him he asked my Papa what was the one thing he was upset with most. My Papa replied, " That my granddaughter will have my first great grandbabies and I won't be here to see it." This killed me. I tried so hard to give him great grandchildren. I looked forward to seeing him with my children. Spoiling them like he did me. How I longed to see his big blue eyes light up when he held he great grandbaby for the first time. These dreams were robbed from me. Why would God take away such a wonderful man so soon. To be honest I am angry with God. I am angry that he called my Papa home so early and I am angry with him because of my infertility. I plan to talk with my Pastor on how to calm these emotions. I just miss my Papa so much. My family will never be the same.

I'm Exhausted

Last night I went to bed with plans to get up early and clean the house so tomorrow I can just relax. I got up walked the dogs and started to clean. I received a phone call from my Aunt and decided to take a break and make the journey down to my grandparents with her. I figured I would just pick up where I left off when I got home. I got home about an hour ago. Do you think I've switched around the laundry, unloaded the dishwasher, swept the floor, or even picked up a cleaning rag? NO!!! Needless to say folks, I'M EXHAUSTED! Seriously, I didn't even do anything today. My normal day consists of standing on my feet for 8 hours, lifting boxes, the normal retail routine. Today I've done squat, nada, nothing. My husband is going to come home and wonder what I did all day. I guess everyone is entitled to a lazy day, right? When I posted on facebook that I was exhausted.... I received the comment of, "That's a sign of pregnancy". I already knew that but I would only be like a week pregnant. Is it possible to have signs this early? You see, usually I'm comparing every single symptom I have to see if I show signs of pregnancy. Let's just say I always get my hopes up and then I get crushed. So this month I decided I'm just going to act like it's a regular month. I'm not going to compare symptoms, I'm not even going to test early. I'm just going to wait for AF and hope I don't get it. Needless to say, this is going to be a long week.

Our Story

Tyler and I started dating October of 2006. We both shared the same dream of raising a big family and talked about it often. In January of 2007 my adoptive sister was born into this world, we both saw how each other naturally cared and loved her and we decided to start planning for our own family. In August 2007, Tyler asked me to be his wife and in September 2007 we started trying to become pregnant. A year and a half flew by and no pregnancy occurred. We talked about making a visit to my doctor but decided to wait until after our wedding, that was only a month away at that time. On March 21st, 2009 we said "I Do" and had a beautiful wedding. When we got back from our honeymoon we thought we were pregnant and made a trip to the doctor. After a negative pregnancy test we decided to take it to the next step and under go fertility testing. All the fertility testing was coming back with no red flags and my doctor told us there was nothing wrong and to keep trying. I flat out told him NO and that I wanted to see a specialist. He then tried to talk me out of it but referred me to Dr. S, a reproductive endocrinologist. On my second visit to the office he did an ultrasound and found that I had severe pelvic adhesion's (scar tissue) around my ovaries. The scar tissue is believed to be caused from a appendectomy when I was 12. He then scheduled me for surgery December 2nd, 2009. I had the surgery and come to find out not only was the scar tissue keeping my ovaries from releasing eggs... I also had endometriosis. My recovery went okay with minor complications. We were told that if the surgery was a success, we should be able to conceive but my chances for tubal pregnancies are increased. Dr. S informed us that if we aren't pregnant within 6 months he would recommend IVF. For the time being he prescribed D/D/M/S = dinner, dancing, movies, and sex. We figured we would give it a shot. In the process of D/D/M/S, we ran into some insurance issues and I really didn't like how long it took to get an appointment with the office. Unfortunately, we had to change to a different doctor. My first appointment with Dr. G went well. We went over my history and came up with a medical plan. He recommended IVF but our insurance will only cover IVF after 6 failed attempts at IUI. We did 2 IUI's, both BFN >:(. In June, Dr. G recommended doing another laparoscopy. Surgery went well, I had an awesome quick recovery. Now we are in the process of our 2WW from our 3rd IUI. I pray this is it, this is the one. Only time will tell.